The quality of commitment affects the success of marriage. So how should the engaged couple live with this limited time to get the most out of them? Here are ten concrete recommendations that are effective.

1. Fully integrate God into the project of your husband and wife

Above all, ask God if marriage is your vocation. Then, when you meet someone who you think is the right person, pray together, go to the second Mass, entrust yourself to the Virgin Mary, make a retreat. Do not rely on your strength to love yourself and walk towards the sacrament of marriage with which God will give His mercy in your home.

2. Go in the truth

We must not pretend to be what we are not; or like what you do not like. In the same way, you must refuse to do what you’ve never done, only with the goal of being consistent with what your boyfriend expects of you. Cheating in this way is already a form of infidelity. The truth of your existence will occur soon after marriage, with the risk of seriously weakening your relationship. If you are objectively incompatible, there is no need to force something, you will find a soul mate: is not it said that the commitment has been broken?

3. Do not try to change others

In a relationship, we often think we can help her boyfriend or boyfriend change, correct mistakes that have been legitimately or incorrectly attributed to him. This is hopeless hope. In reality, people almost never change. The introvert will not become extroverted; the area will not be protected by law; A boy who has never helped will be a lazy husband, a negligent boyfriend who will live in a suit and sandals. Character traits that annoy you during engagement can grow during marriage and become unbearable. Accept (a) in such a way that he (he), or does not marry him.

4. Do not justify the unjustified

If your partner loses his attention, he makes you wait without apologizing, he spends time at the telephone consultation, arrives late, is not interested in your situation, silences you, interrupts you, criticizes you, knows that during the wedding, he (he) will get worse Even if you fall in love or are crazy, do not look for an excuse to justify a negative attitude. Instead, look for someone else.

5. Violence is obviously prohibited

If during your relationship, you are shouting at yourself, or being harassed, insulted or even beaten, you obviously fly! A guy who raises his voice can be a husband who raises his hand to you; a boyfriend who humiliates you in front of friends will become a wife who will embarrass you in front of your children. Why do you have to marry someone who can endanger the integrity of you and your family?

6. Listen to good advice

From the outside, your friends and family can see things you may not notice. “He drank too much”, “He was very hard with his mother”, “He was a teaser, I saw him tease”, “This girl is just looking for money, spends her time making you spend” “I saw her smoking marijuana”. and do not cover your ears During a marriage process, the opinions of the people around you are often asked. How many criticisms were not heard or taken seriously…

7. Do not assume, you have to ask

The relationship is also long to get to know each other and talk, talk, talk about all subjects. Ask all your questions Many marriages fail because the difference is not identified over time. I think you want to have children!« I do not know that your mother will come to live with us! “It’s better to exchange completely than to complain later.

8. Think of the family as a consideration

We must also observe the future in-laws. How are you? What is the relationship between family members? What is their value? Remember that most likely you have to celebrate Christmas with them, New Year’s, birthdays or spend a few weekends with them. Which also means that your parents will be grandparents of your children, that your brother-in-law and brother-in-law will become the uncles and aunts of your children. What examples will they give them? Is this the family you want?

9. You want to be happy, but this is not …

Many are married to believers to be happy through their partners. But if a beautiful woman becomes ugly or sick, if a beautiful baby gets fat or loses her job, she will not make you happier and it will be time to get rid of her. On the contrary, the real motivation must be to desire another happiness. Is not it the greatest happiness to consecrate each other to reach paradise? And the proof of the greatest love is not to dedicate our lives to the people we love? If every partner seeks happiness from others, every day and with God’s help, marriage will be able to deal with everything, in health and disease, in wealth and poverty until death, and even in eternal life.

For more information about marriage please visit missioncarolina.org

(ISD)

Getting ready for a wedding can be a stressful and difficult time to manage. Especially for many brides, this often means making decisions.

Investigation of the mental weight of marriage.

From her marriage to Pierre two years ago, Élisa saves her emotional memory. “Dinner, party, everything is successful!” He is enthusiastic. “Guests leave happy and us too.” A day to mark with white stones and that almost managed to make him forget a busy year of preparation.

“We have a limited budget and a series of obstacles,” said the 30-year-old, “we must have a wedding close to home because some parents, including grandmother, can not move, but they also attract babysitters for the children of guests who come from far away. “. A puzzle that Elisa has to face alone. Pierre “helped” him but never took the dimensions of the task within a year. Traditionally, taking care of everything is upstream, from the concept of the ceremony to its realization, often back to the spouses.

This almost exclusive treatment is based on the widespread belief that marriage is above all a “women’s affair”. Making a ceremony to play, the bride and groom take control and become the “princess of the day”. The role should have been a dream since childhood. On the other side of this gender spectrum, man has fulfilled his role by making his request. Convinced that someone did not expect anything else from him, he slowly separated from the marriage organization. “I feel it’s my turn to choose”

The weight of this traditional vision secretly includes all levels of society, even the most progressive ones. “I never dreamed of being a princess!” For H-day, I do not want a meringue dress or a piece of cabbage installed, said Maria, 29, married for a year at Djibril. I feel that it is my choice, which is waiting for me to have a clear vision of what I want. “

The woman is naturally “healthier” than her partner to handle everything, but she must also express her personality. Far from the codified ceremonies in the past, we expect originality today, poetry in marriage. The Astrid prerogative, 32, has been found pleasing before. “I know what I want, in terms of special decorations, the problem is that you can not spend time doing table runners, there are many other things that are less fun than you have to occupy,” recalls the young married women of the year. last.

Increase the tension Catering, choice of places, clothes, decorations, flowers: accumulated problems. “I made a list on Pinterest, a reminder on my phone, but as soon as I felt like I had done something, another task was added,” Maria said.

Poor, the latter did not find much support from Djibril. “He came for important appointments with service providers, such as catering or DJs, but he had only one word in his mouth: ‘budget’, but when we organized the ceremony, we immediately realized that everything was more expensive than expected, and I saw him keep the rope the wallet as if it were his choice to validate my choice when I did everything myself created a lot of tension in our relationship “.

In the same way that the daily management of weight causes tiredness of tired women who have to take care of everything, the marriage organization crystallizes the tension around the two poles: the excessive investment of the future bride responds to avoiding her partner. “This really communicates the ship,” Elisa complained, “the more I asked Pierre to do something and the more he kicked, he could not think of a few months before.”

Flippancy Djibril pushed Maria to the end. “Two months before the wedding, I was fooled, I was alone, one Saturday afternoon, in front of hundreds of sweets to put in small pots, I took Djibril between the four eyes and I told him that I could not bear anymore, that hold a funny event would have stuck we’re in these silly roles, I’m worried about others … “

A set-up that acts like an electric shock to her future husband: “He took the list and indicated some tasks that now fall on him Well, these are ‘masculine’ things like ordering wine and champagne, managing the assembly and the dismantling of tents with benefits.

(ISD)